you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
