come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
