Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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