You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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