how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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