I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
You did what with his pubic hair?
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