4 words: hood of his car
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
