I cannot find my penis.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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