In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
