Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
