woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
