ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
