I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
