You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I think my moral compass just broke
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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