Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
