bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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