She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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