Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
