I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
