what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
