we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Drunk is not a location!
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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