His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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