Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
