and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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