I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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