I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
