shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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