I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
