My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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