I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
