then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
