He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
