it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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