Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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