Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
