there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
