I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
