she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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