Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
