were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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