i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
