I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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