My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize