No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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