I CAN MOONWALK!
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
NoShamevember. You game?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
