I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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