their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
