Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
