Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
