I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
