1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
