I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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