I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
